Best advice I've ever recieved

Some days...

I know I'm not the only one who feels like this, but some days I feel like the worst mom person in the world.  I think that every parent has moments when they think of how much different (and easier) life would be without kids.  No one would ever admit to it, but there are some times I wish for the time before kids.  No matter how many times I yell, E continues to run screaming through the kitchen.  And with the reliability of an alarm clock, J is up at 6 a.m. after waking up at midnight and 2 a.m.  Somehow, he doesn't understand that I am not ready to start my day yet.  And more days than not, everything happens at once: E is throwing a fit because she doesn't want applesauce for breakfast, she wants yogurt, J is crying because he wants to be held to alleviate the pain of teething, after sending the dog to her kennel for being underfoot, I find (yet another) toy that has been chewed. It gives a whole new meaning to the saying, "When it rains, it pours."

Two things that I have learned that have helped me on the days that nothing goes right.  The first is something my dad said. One day when E was not listening, he joked, "Why is she acting like that?  She's acting like a 3 year-old."  Dealing with a baby (and everything else) I forget that she is still only 3.  I (and a lot of other parents) expect way too much from her when it comes to having patience, understanding why mommy is mad, and listening the first time.  When I'm am at the end of my patience because J is crying on the floor and E is jumping on the sofa after I have asked her nicely to stop more times than I can count, I remind myself that she is acting like a 3 year-old because she IS a 3 year-old.  What more could I ask for.  She is a very bright girl, has a ton of energy, and is curious about EVERYTHING.  I guess I'm jealous, think of everything I could get done in a day if I had all that energy.

The second thing that has changed how I think about things is something that I heard on a morning tv show.  There are so many times I can feel myself getting ready to explode.  It starts deep down and it just gets bigger and bigger, until I can't hold it in anymore.  When that point comes, there's no stopping it.  It just happens, it's like a completely differet person.  I hate it.  I feel so guilty afterward for letting myself get to that point and taking it out on my children.  I didn't know what to do about it, and then, like an answer to my prayer, there was a segment on TV.  It was almost as if they had aired it just for me.  They suggested keeping a diary of when you lose your temper, then reviewing it to find a pattern of triggers.  I didn't write anything down, but I did mentally take notes about times that I lost it.  I realized that I was rarely mad at E, it was more often than not because I had forgotten to eat lunch or that I hadn't gotten a lot of sleep the night before.  That made a lot of sense for me.  I an much more irratible when I am tired and I get very cranky when I'm hungry.  Being able to stop before I explode gives me time to think of why I am actually upset.  If it's because I haven't eaten in a while, I can remove myself from the situation and have a quick snack.  I have avoided a lot of tears (from everyone) by stopping to think first.

It's so easy to be on the outside looking in.  But when you are in the middle of a huge mess, it seems like there's no way out and no one to help you out.  Every parent has been in the grocery store too close to naptime.  No one wants to be the one with the toddler screaming in the frozen juice aisle.  If only there was some way of telling that parent, "We've all been there, I understand" without embarrassing him/her more.  Sometimes you just have to push your way through the hard times to get to the happier ones.  Such is the life of a mom (and dad).